Ling

Jamie Ling is from Suffolk but his ancestors caught white fish somewhere in Scandinavia. Then they went to Suffolk, in droves. And now,  you'll find a whole column of Lings in the phonebook there.
Music: Atlantis by Audionautix under a Creative Commons Attribution licence.

Transcript

Ling L I N G

No it’s not Chinese. I don’t think it’s Chinese. Ah well theory is that it’s..ummm

So I’m from England and I think that I’m descended from Vikings.

Because that seems like a really good thing to be descended from. If you’ve got to pick something that seems like a good choice. Good stock. Strong. Nice plaits. Nice plaits in their beards.

I think my surname comes from a white fish in the North Atlantic sea, which would be in the right proximity. Oh hang on,  the North Sea, the North Atlantic, can you cut that bit out? I can’t eat it. I can’t eat myself. I can eat myself. Because I’m a Ling! I can eat a ling! Ling cannot eat Ling! It’s decreed. 

I think my surname may have been Lingson. As in son of Ling, son of the mighty ling fishermen. Yeah, they may have done and that may account for some of my genetic deficiencies. I’ve just… I’ve had a cold for five weeks in a row. That’s not good. That’s not Viking is it? 

From Suffolk… heritage is from Suffolk and there’s a lot of Lings in Suffolk. Just look in the phonebook. That’s what they say. Just look in the phonebook, in the phonebook and you;ll find at least one and a half columns of Lings. 

So we’re not just like some freakish ‘Why have you got a Chinese surname’ people living in the middle of Suffolk. There’s lots of Lings at times when I’ve met people in Amsterdam, with work, and… and they’ve worked with me remotely and they don’t know whether I’m a boy or girl, they are very surprised to find out that I’m not a young Asian girl. Jamie is also a girl’s name. 

Oh, there’s… there’s more embarrassing things to reveal about the surname Ling as well, because it’s penis. It’spenis in certain dialects of Chinese, Ling. And Lingam is the Hindi word for, you know, is like the penis as well. It’s also Chinese for a mountain. But it’s but it’s …it’s a sexual organ as well. So that’s embarrassing, right?

You’re like a fishy sexual organ.

How is that good surname? It was never brought up. It was never a conversation. Oh, maybe it was like, “Oh that’s a bit weird, where did that  come from? Everyone thinks I’m Chinese.  Everyone thinks I’m Chinese. Dad, why are we called Ling? Don’t know son, just we are….”